Once again, vigilant (vigilante?) Agent Elemento P comes through with a very cool link to this article about new technology in robot joints which makes them more compact and useful than ever.

As Farhad Aghili of the Canadian Space Agency explains in the article, “In a nutshell…the control system autonomously realizes the configuration change while demanding minimum actuation effort.”  WHAA?  What kind of an “explanation” is that?  Even a tech-head like me is losing the thread here.  But earlier in the article, we are told the robots have “passive joints that allow the arms to twist and change their length, depending on the task at hand.”  The article continues, pointing out that “This kind of reconfigurable robot could have many uses in space, including performing inspections, assembling devices, and carrying objects. Aghili added that a reconfigurable robot like this one could also have applications in mining, nuclear power plants and the military.”

So it occurs to me that maybe THIS is how some of these mysterious folding robots we’ve been spotting are changing their shapes.  Maybe this is a revolutionary concept to us, but it’s just elementary to them!  But then that leads me to say HOLY TINKERTOYS, does that mean these moveable metallic “visitors” will soon be getting involved in our “mining, nuclear power plants and the military”???  Does that mean these chunks of steel and their little “passive joints” will soon be TAKING OVER our nuclear power plants?

Stay alert, TRED-heads!

Agent Elemento P sent in a link to another alien robot story.  We keep hearing about how humans are sending “rovers” to the planet Mars.  But they keep crashing or getting wiped out somehow.  Only two have made it and are moving across the surface — if we can believe NASA.  And we all know how much we here at TRED trust the government.  The images these robots are supposedly sending back look a LOT like the Nevada desert with a red filter on it.  Come on, NASA, we all know how to do that effect on our laptops!

And those “rovers” look more like tiny and mid-size alien robots to me!  I wonder if these are like those bots we’ve been seeing all over the world hiding (more or less) in plain sight.  Which would mean NASA is on it, too.  Of course!  They’re probably using those things right now to track all of us truth-seekers down!

Okay, guys, this one has got me climbing the walls with anxiety.  The US Air Force Research Laboratory is developing a rash of new surveillance and attack robots, varying in size from a swallow to a  FLY.  These things sneak, stalk, sense, spy, and SHPLAZAAAM explode on enemy combatants.  Thanks to the ever-vigilant Agent Elemento P for pointing out this article in Esquire (and how dapper of you to be reading Esquire, P), and check out the crazy animated demo vid it links to.

These lil’ BUGGERS, charmingly nicknamed “Suburb Warriors” are a great way to fight terrorists without collateral damage, and hey, what’s better than that.  As Esquire says, “Instead of dropping Hellfires or a 500-pound bomb on an insurgent hideout, one or more Suburb Warriors could fire a volley of mini-missiles at confirmed targets, without vaporizing the wedding reception next door.”  But what’s going to keep me up tonight, and for many nights to follow, is the fear of these palm-sized cuties falling into the wrong hands.  Like maybe hands that can bring them to life and turn them on humanity?  The struggle against terror will look like a beach vollyball game if that happens. Because, as the Esquire article concludes: “You can run from tomorrow’s robotic hitmen, and you can hide, and they’ll flap or squirm or glide into position and kill you anyway.”

According to the “official” story, there was “no debris” or evidence of ANY KIND left in the crater…like some alien being did a galactic cannonball into the Australian desert and then just got up and WALKED AWAY.  I want to stay clear of any *thing* — bot or not — that can do that!  Imagine an elephant sitting on a juice box and you’re starting to get the idea.  SQUIRT!

Let me leave you with this, a quote from one of the articles: “Space authorities said it was not uncommon for natural material to hit the earth, with about 100 tonnes of material entering the earth’s atmosphere every day.”  That’s either 100 1-ton alien robots or 1 100-ton alien robot.  I don’t know which I’d prefer.  I think I’m going to go with NEITHER!

Check out this article about the GIANT lake beds now proven to exist on Mars!  A three billion year-old lake the size of Lake Champlain and up to 1500 feet deep indicates heavily that there really was life on the red planet.  Don’t worry peeps — there’s no one living there now, (like say, um, giant alien robots), but the article goes on to talk about the adjacent deltas, and says that deltas on Earth “rapidly bury organic carbon and other biomarkers of life” and that “astrobiologists believe any present indications of life on Mars will be discovered in the form of subterranean microorganisms.”

Why am I bringing this up right now when we seem to be enduring an invasive hail storm of clankhead aliens?  Well, I’m just saying if their intrusion (and population!) keep growing, we might all need somewhere ELSE to GO, right?  And hey — if life existed on Mars back in the roaring Noachan epoch, (kinda like the “Roaring Twenties” except 4.1 billion to 3.7 billion years ago), maybe life can thrive again?  I’m just sayin’, it’s worth keeping an open mind.  I mean, imagine the view, at least.

(Although while I just said there’s no life on Mars at the moment, we do have to keep in mind that pesky Beagle 2 Explorer which went “missing”.  Is someone – or someTHING – walking that dog in the park as we speak?)

Yeah, Shark and Leo think I’m wacked, but listen: as much as I’m psyched for the imminent move toward college freshmandom, (especially after what we’ve done to our living arrangements and stay tuned for that announcement), I just don’t want to be running for cover in the dining hall because some twenty-foot tower of steel just ATE my RA, man.  I mean, if life is about to be code orange like that, I’d rather live somewhere RED.  You feel me?

I agree with the guy who posted this video.  In a week, this thing could be kicking all our asses.  It’s a 60-foot-tall robot that’s MOVING.  OMEG!!!!!  So what I want to know is, WHY ISN’T ANYONE DOING ANYTHING ABOUT THIS???  Why is the Japanese government letting this happen?

Me, Leo, and Sharsky are starting to think that all the governments of  the world are in on the conspiracy.  The evidence keeps piling up.  Which is why we’ve had all these sightings across the globe, and yet you see NOTHING about them on mainstream media (which only shows what the government WANTS it to show).  Another reason to keep your browser locked here on TRED (you should probably make it your home page).

We’ll continue to bring up the news you won’t find anywhere else!

Wow, check out this statue!  No, not the naked toga dude, the GIANT ALIEN ROBOT posing seductively in the background!  That ain’t no leaning Tower of Pisa, people.  What would that thing be doing in Italy?  Wait a second– Rome is the origin of Western Civilization, I wonder if these intruders are scouting out a location to start THEIR civilization on Earth.  What if they’re going to vini vidi vici all over our asses?

CHECK OUT THE FULL SIZE VERSION HERE

Stay alert, TRED-heads!  There could be a serious offensive in the works here…

Some French dude named Vinny Lemans posted this video of his flying model airplane.  Watch it all the way through (hey, Vinny, ever heard of EDITING??).  It sounds to me like these guys weren’t expecting what went down.

Translation: “What does it scared me! My friend wanted to take a ride with my new plane, but he runs away! I was really amazed because I fell and I did see that watching the video! IT flees! I was really amazed because I fell and I did see that watching the video!”

So, it looks like the alien robots have infiltrated the toy industry.  That action figure on your desk could in fact be a killer bot just waiting for the right moment to strike!  I would check it every once in a while just to make sure it’s inert.  I keep thinking I see my R2-D2 model moving out of the corner of my eye, but every time I look over, it goes completely still.  Either I’m going crazy, or it’s really, really good at pretending to be nothing but an inanimate hunk of plastic and metal.

If anyone finds me dead and my R2 missing, you’ll know who did it….

This video  just came online a few hours ago, origin point: Berlin.

I ran the text through a translator app and got this:
“Have finally the traffic in the north of Berlin observed for my bachelor thesis (Automated identification of structures in the transport and far-reaching effect on the transport network in Northern Germany). Normally, very boring, but you look at this. My camera has totally gespinnt thereafter. The part was huge!”

I don’t know what “gespinnt” means, but he’s right, the “part” was effing huge!!  It looks to me like that car actually TURNED INTO a bot.  The physics just seem…impossible.  Unless the Germans have invented some kind of morphing technology…or maybe learned it from aliens.  Either way, here’s what worries me: if robots can hide IN PLAIN SIGHT, we’ll NEVER see it coming!  We could all be surrounded by bots right now.  What if this computer I’m using suddenly transforms into a killer cyber-organism because it doesn’t like what I’m typing???  Yeeesh!

Over the last few days we’ve had sightings CAUGHT ON TAPE in North and South America, Africa, Europe, Australia, and Asia — that’s SIX out of seven continents (and they’ve probably shown up in Antarctica but there’s no one there on vacation to capture them on video).  Obviously, they’re becoming less and less concerned with remaining hidden.  Which means they’re more and more concerned with something else — their mission to dominate earth!

I know I speak for Leo and Sharsky when I say, fear not TRED-heads, we are ON this!  Do NOT freak out.  I repeat, do NOT freak out.  You’ll probably feel better with a little retail therapy.  Maybe you should order something online.  You could, I don’t know, maybe get a t-shirt or a hat.  Hey, why not get something with the TRED logo?  (Sorry for the hard sell.  Leo says we’re “not going to make our numbers for this quarter” and we’re already in the planning stages of a BIG MOVE — more on that soon.)

Remember that story I posted about a week ago about the strange invaders in Wisconsin?  Well, a source who prefers to remain nameless (and we don’t blame you) was ACTUALLY THERE when this all went down.  He contacted us and sent in a report along with awesome proof in pictures he took HIMSELF, which means there’s no media or government filter here — this is all straight from the horse’s mouth, raw and unedited.  (He tells us there’s more where these pictures came from, but adds, “some of them I dont even dare to show.”)

Photos and more after the break!

Here’s what our anonymous source had to say (taken directly from the e-mail sent to us): “I sent some pictures for you to check out from eau galle wi. I have been having alot of trouble with my email to even get them out. I sent one picture to a person and they got a picture of a hot water heater.  These [photos] were taken 4/15/09 in eau galle wi at 9:30 pm. we watched it for 38 minutes,it would turn end over end like a ball of fire and spin side ways flashing red blue green purple and white.”

Strange things afoot in Badger country, peeps.