Archive for the ‘Robotics Gone Wild’ Category

Conspiracy, Robotics Gone Wild

Mecha. Friend or Foe?

06.18.2009

Tags

Comments 5

inside-job_0

Yo, yo!  This story on the Mission City Incident comes to us direct from one of our new sources, TheWave:

Mr. Leo,
You speak often of the Mission City Incident.  While I agree that the exculpation of Mendelson Robotics is most improper, I cannot help but feel you are focusing on the wrong end of the equation;

-Mecha are demonstrably possible-

So it is not the “rescue robots” whose design the Pentagon has refused to make public that are the real “unexplainable” events of July 2007 is the worldwide communications blackout, or as the incident report calls it “power surge from an unknown energy source.”

As there was very nearly a war that weekend, the Americans seem not to be the source.  So what crashes television, radio, satellites and landlines– but leaves local radio intact?  This is not a Solar Flare.

That is the real trillion-dollar question.

-TheWave

If the Army dude in this PopSci article can build an effing robot “designed to mimic human movements” in his garage, just IMAGINE what the Pentagon can do!!!!!

Post By: LeoPonceDeLeonSpitz

Aliens, Apocalypse, Robotics Gone Wild, UFOS, Video

Anarchy in the UK!

06.18.2009

Tags

Comments 5

Just tracked down another sighting posted by a “leeboy92.”  I can’t make out what they’re saying (does anyone out there speak British?), but apparently he and his buddy Kelv messed with the wrong piece of machinery.

So, motorcycle, we have one question for you.  To quote Leo’s favorite band: “Who are you?  Who who?  Who who?”  Obviously you could’ve wiped out that whole party of Brits in no seconds flat or carried one of them off for some alien probing, but you CHOSE not to.  Why?  Are you perhaps an ally?  Or is your mission — whatever it is — simply more important than taking out a bunch of motorbike thieves?  Talk to us!  Tell us why you’re here, what you want, and maybe we can work something out. Otherwise all the hiding out is making everyone think you’re up to no good.

I am a bit concerned that leeboy92 hasn’t seen his mate Kelv since the “incident.”  I’m guessing he completely freaked out.  That’s what happens when you don’t read TRED — if he’d known that the bots were among us, he probably wouldn’t have gotten so spooked.

Post By: SHARKATRON3000

Aliens, Robotics Gone Wild, Video

Beware of Killer Toys!!!

06.17.2009

Tags

Comments 10

Some French dude named Vinny Lemans posted this video of his flying model airplane.  Watch it all the way through (hey, Vinny, ever heard of EDITING??).  It sounds to me like these guys weren’t expecting what went down.

Translation: “What does it scared me! My friend wanted to take a ride with my new plane, but he runs away! I was really amazed because I fell and I did see that watching the video! IT flees! I was really amazed because I fell and I did see that watching the video!”

So, it looks like the alien robots have infiltrated the toy industry.  That action figure on your desk could in fact be a killer bot just waiting for the right moment to strike!  I would check it every once in a while just to make sure it’s inert.  I keep thinking I see my R2-D2 model moving out of the corner of my eye, but every time I look over, it goes completely still.  Either I’m going crazy, or it’s really, really good at pretending to be nothing but an inanimate hunk of plastic and metal.

If anyone finds me dead and my R2 missing, you’ll know who did it….

Post By: FASSINATOR

Aliens, Robotics Gone Wild, UFOS, Video

German Engineering?!

06.12.2009

Tags

Comments 13

This video  just came online a few hours ago, origin point: Berlin.

I ran the text through a translator app and got this:
“Have finally the traffic in the north of Berlin observed for my bachelor thesis (Automated identification of structures in the transport and far-reaching effect on the transport network in Northern Germany). Normally, very boring, but you look at this. My camera has totally gespinnt thereafter. The part was huge!”

I don’t know what “gespinnt” means, but he’s right, the “part” was effing huge!!  It looks to me like that car actually TURNED INTO a bot.  The physics just seem…impossible.  Unless the Germans have invented some kind of morphing technology…or maybe learned it from aliens.  Either way, here’s what worries me: if robots can hide IN PLAIN SIGHT, we’ll NEVER see it coming!  We could all be surrounded by bots right now.  What if this computer I’m using suddenly transforms into a killer cyber-organism because it doesn’t like what I’m typing???  Yeeesh!

Over the last few days we’ve had sightings CAUGHT ON TAPE in North and South America, Africa, Europe, Australia, and Asia — that’s SIX out of seven continents (and they’ve probably shown up in Antarctica but there’s no one there on vacation to capture them on video).  Obviously, they’re becoming less and less concerned with remaining hidden.  Which means they’re more and more concerned with something else — their mission to dominate earth!

I know I speak for Leo and Sharsky when I say, fear not TRED-heads, we are ON this!  Do NOT freak out.  I repeat, do NOT freak out.  You’ll probably feel better with a little retail therapy.  Maybe you should order something online.  You could, I don’t know, maybe get a t-shirt or a hat.  Hey, why not get something with the TRED logo?  (Sorry for the hard sell.  Leo says we’re “not going to make our numbers for this quarter” and we’re already in the planning stages of a BIG MOVE — more on that soon.)

Post By: FASSINATOR

Aliens, Japanation, Robotics Gone Wild, Video

EXCLUSIVE! It IS Japan and all But. . .

06.11.2009

Tags

Comments 13

Another TRED-head who’d like to remain anonymous just sent us this link. We’re the FIRST on the net to break this story.

Now we all know the Land of the Rising Sun is known for robots of all stripes — small to effing huge — so spotting a bot in Japan is normally no big deal.  But this one’s LOOSE.  And HIDING.  And it looks more advanced than any Japanese robot I’ve ever seen.  I’m starting to correlate all the data we’ve been getting for the last few days and all I can say is, this is NOT good, people.  They’re landing, spreading all over the world, and lying in wait for…something.  Why are they here?  Either they want our resources, they want to enslave us, they want to use our planet as their new homeworld…or maybe something else.  We’ll probably never know until it’s way too late.

Keep your eyes and ears open!  Report what you find back here!

Post By: SHARKATRON3000

Apocalypse, Robotics Gone Wild, Video

The REAL EFFING ROBO COP and More Robots with Guns…

06.11.2009

Tags

Comments 2

Yo, TRED-heads, thanks to our dedicated detective Agent Elemento P, we’ve got another spine-tingler here for you.  Watch this video of new robot cop technology — the action starts at :44 seconds in, and tell me you don’t get chills.  (The dramatic score helps.)

These Real Effing Robo Cops are smoother than C3PO, lighter than the Terminator, and WAY MORE DEADLY than Wall-E.  (They’re not as cute, either.)  Just seeing the second robodude surrounded by all those flesh and blood humans is nerve-wracking — I keep waiting for him to go rogue and take out an entire marketplace in one 360-degree discharge of his machine gun appendage.

And what of those little guys in the woods?  They seem like toys, but I bet they’re the MOST deadly — it’s all about the element of surprise, right?  One of those little buggers could slip into your garage unnoticed and hide behind the lawn mower.  I’m just sayin’.

When this planet finally gets itself together, we can use these human-controlled robot snipers to defend against alien invaders.  Nothing  like some Earth-robot-on-alien-robot action.  But stay alert TRED- ers, because these “cute” Robo-killers MUST NOT FALL INTO ENEMY HANDS!

Post By: LeoPonceDeLeonSpitz

Aliens, Robotics Gone Wild, Video

That Is Not a Gorilla!

06.11.2009

Tags

Comments 6

A dios mia!!!  TRED-heads, you need to check out this video.  Watch the upper right for what looks like a grande effing robot! Australia, Peru, now SPAIN!  Either there’s one bot-like entity on a world-wide tour, or there are LOTS of them hiding out effing EVERYWHERE.
Dudes, seriously.  I’ve never seen anything like this before.  Either someone’s yanking our chain here, or we’ve got giant robots — possibly giant ALIEN robots — appearing all over the effing globe. I suggest you go back and bone up on your “How to Survive a Robot Uprising” book, the one we mentioned a few months ago right here on TRED.

And, yo, if you see something else like this, send it to us ASAP (and not to ANYONE else, if you know what I mean).

Post By: LeoPonceDeLeonSpitz

Aliens, Image, Robotics Gone Wild

Giant Alien Robot Scout?

06.11.2009

Tags

Comments 4

dsc00030

Okay TRED-heads, what is going on?  I leave town for five seconds, and suddenly the planet is crawling with giant alien robots???  Check out this picture sent to us from a sharp-eyed bot hunter in MACHU PICHU!  Machu Pichu, people.  The ruins are lovely, but what the hell is that  in the background??!?!?  I don’t think he was there just to pick up  some postcards.  Besides, WHERE would he be sending those postcards?  And TO WHOM?  (Or to WHAT?)

Is this the planning of a full-scale invasion?  I mean, first they’re  all over Great Britain, then they hunker down in Wisconsin, (sure, I  see that, I mean I like cheese as much as the next sentient being),  and then AUSTRALIA, and now PERU?  Is there a PATTERN here?  Do these  locations spell something out?  If you connect the geographical dots,  do they make a cute cartoon of a BRAIN-SUCKING DEATH BUNNY? Toto, I don’t think it’s safe here in Kansas anymore.

Post By: LeoPonceDeLeonSpitz

Robotics Gone Wild

Building a Better Bot

06.11.2009

Tags

Comment 1

predictivepo

First off — I’M BACK!!  I know you all missed me.  “Where were you, Leo?”  Glad you asked.  I was at a three-day gaming competition.  I was SO rocking the HALO 3 tournament.  But after 72 hours of fighting the Convenant some 9-year-old dork finally beat me.  I think he was on steroids.  Or Red Bull.  And I didn’t appreciate his “unsportsmanlike conduct” after he won, either.  Nobody crunks at Leo Ponce De Leon Spitz!

Anyway, onto more important matters: a crazy scary robot story I just found here .  You don’t even have to read the article, which is pretty sciencey — nutshell, it talks about how this JAST org is trying to figure out how to make bots think (anyone else think this is a BAD idea?) — all you have to do is watch the vid.  I kept worrying that that robot was going to get super pissed at the idiot who can’t even put together a couple of blocks and rip his head off with that huge mechanical arm-claw.  (Although, if I’d been that bot, I might’ve gone berserk on that moron, too.)

It’s science dudes like this who create tech we can’t control which only makes the world a scarier place.  Here’s what they said about developing independent, thinking robots: “Before robots like this one can be let loose around humans, however, they will have to learn some manners. Humans know how to behave according to the context they are in. This is subtle and would be difficult for a robot to understand.”  Manners?  Um, yeah, like how TEARING PEOPLE’S FACES OFF is NOT good?!  I’m SO glad it will be “difficult” for these bots to understand.  Now I feel MUCH better….

Post By: LeoPonceDeLeonSpitz

Aliens, Image, Robotics Gone Wild

Alien robots invading down under?

06.10.2009

Tags

Comments 10

3611324997_96996e40d6

Check out these incredible pics taken in Perth, Australia and posted on Flickr.  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?

3612137568_aaa03c7078

It looks like it MOVED from one pic to the other.  Am I losing it?  Please tell me it’s just a crane.  A water tower!  (A water tower in the water?  Please just humor me, TRED-heads.)  I know, maybe it’s an oil well– yes, it must be an oil well.  A giant, flexible, multi-jointed, living oil well.  It is certainly NOT an alien robot, right?. . . BUT WAIT — there’s more—-

(more…)

Post By: FASSINATOR
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »